Movin' on past the care factor...

 
Photography by Mason Wilkes

Photography by Mason Wilkes

IF YOU ACTUALLY START SHOWING UP IN YOUR LIFE, LIKE YOU SHOULD BE, LIKE I SHOULD BE, LIKE WE SAY WE WANT TO BE, THEN WHAT IS THE WORST THAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN?

I’m sure you’ve all held yourselves back, kept things close to your chest, zipped your mouth, averted your eyes, swallowed down your feelings and not allowed the REAL YOU to break out and show up and have an opinion…. because you’re afraid of what others are going to think, yes?

I SURE HAVE.

We are of course usually most afraid of what our close friends and family will think. Because hey, they’re the ones who have been the constant in our lives, have been there for us through thick and thin, have loved us and we’ve loved back.

 

Unfortunately though, sometimes (and only sometimes, but actually it’s quite often – work out that contradiction of my thought patterns!), these are the people in our lives who truly do hold us back.

 

Because we don’t want to upset them.

Because we are actually afraid of them seeing the TRUE, RAW, REAL you.

 

STUPID HEY? THE PEOPLE WE SPEND MOST OF OUR TIME WITH, THE PEOPLE WE LOVE THE MOST, ARE THE ONES WHO TEND TO HOLD US BACK. OR SO WE THINK, IN OUR OWN MINDS.

 

And perhaps you’ve had an experience like the following, when you did step out and stand up and shout the real you from the rooftops, you lost out….

For example I had someone close to me in life, who I was great mates with, we’d see each other almost every day, we talked, we laughed, we shared stuff, our lives were so very intertwined… but I always held myself back… I was always the people pleaser. They had a strong personality, and loved to be right ALL THE TIME. So I let them. I felt like I had to walk on eggshells around them.

Until I decided it was time to stand my ground. To voice my own opinion and (god forbid) DISAGREE with some of what this person said. And by standing my ground, stomping all over those eggshells and standing in my own POWER….

Well, I lost this person. They got angry. They didn’t like it.

Because this person didn’t know who I was anymore and didn’t like the direction I had decided to take my life. Didn’t like me stepping into my own power. Didn’t like me challenging their ideals, thoughts and way of life.

I lost that person, I lost that friend.

 

YES IT FELT REALLY FREAKING AWESOME TO STAND ON MY OWN TWO FEET AND TO BE MY OWN PERSON AND ACTUALLY HAVE AN OPINION, WHICH I THOUGHT, WAS GOOD ENOUGH TO VOICE.

 

But I, of course, also questioned my actions. Should I have kept things close to my chest, zipped my mouth, averted my eyes and swallowed down my feelings?

Yes I did question whether I should have just shut the hell up to keep the peace.

But then I realised…. This person’s behaviour has got more to do with them, than it has to do with me.

And if I feel I’ve acted in truth, and I have held onto my integrity, and I have been fully authentic (yes there’s that cliché word, but it’s a goody), then all is well.

I can stand in my super-hero pose and be PROUD.

 

{Insert Wonder Woman cape, hands on hips, head held high – yep, go on, do it! Own it sista!}

 

You know what? The thing is, if that person is someone you do still want in your life in some capacity (even just a small capacity!), because you do love and care about them – well, they’ll come around.

It’s just a waiting game.

They simply need to see that the person you are growing and evolving into, the leader that you’re becoming in your life, the power that is within you that you are stepping INTO – is ok. They’ll see that eventually, if they are a person worthy of being in your life.

On the other hand, you just never know the reaction you’ll get from people. I’ve also had experiences where that person who I finally allowed my true self to be shown to actually cracked into a huge smile, basically clapped their hands and said YES – there YOU are! And has subsequently been the most supportive, amazing, loving person who knew I had it in me the whole time and was just waiting for me to break free of those chains…

So you just don’t know.

Then again, there are those that are certainly not worthy of being in your life. And you’ll know who they are.

The toxic people who breed disease in our lives.

 

But once you begin to step into your own power, and SHOW UP in life, those people will fade away (or you may need to give them a gentle shove!).

SO CAN YOU SEE THE POINT HERE?

 

Some will not like you changing, not like you being brave, and fearless and OWNING IT.

Some will be challenged by that and may need some time.

Some will embrace it and run the race with you.

And some you will finally be free of – you didn’t need those ones anyway!

 

SO REALLY, WHAT’S THE FEAR? WHAT IS THE WORST THAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN?

 

Yes you may come across some hurdles, but you’ll also come across some surprises.

You will also feel free. You’ll feel strong. You’ll feel powerful. You’ll feel TRUE to yourself.

Personally, I’ve experienced all three scenarios above, numerous times – I’ve survived. I’m still here! I live to spread my message another day….

So this is my message – to you – and to me (because I sometimes forget my own message)…

 

BE FEARLESS.

 

The worst that can happen ain’t that bad, and the pay off is well and truly worth it. Act with love, good intentions, integrity and truth.

BE YOURSELF. BE FEARLESS. BE PROUD. (and stop caring so much what others think).

Written by Jess Willman
 
MindsetJess Willman